Frank Off The Radio: The Frank Skinner Podcast

00:01 It's Frank off the radio, Frank off the radio, Frank off the radio. It's the Frank Skinner podcast, don't you know? Hey, I'm a real human being, but I don't have a mind of my own. This is Frank off the radio. I'm joined by Emily Dean and Ruth Hosko. Follow the podcast on X and Instagram. You can email the podcast via frankofftheradio at avalonuk.com. What's up? 00:28 When he says, if you've ever been given anyone else's wardrobe fee... 00:56 Yes, I don't really. Does it say wardrobe feed? 00:58 It must be a reference to something we said on the show. Long time. 01:02 I was assuming it's something I would have said rude about clothes. 01:05 I'm saying it was long time. 01:08 Okay. 01:09 That's my view. So, listen, I'll tell you something. I went to a Catholic church. 01:15 All right, Wayne Rooney. Yeah. Thomas Tuchel. Thomas Tuchel was there. And... 01:22 So the priest, when he did his homily, as we call it, his sermon, he did... Do you know the parrot joke? Not the parrot sketch. There's an old... I joke, I don't even know the first time I heard it. It was so long ago. And it's about... 01:42 A sailor who sends his mother, he sees this parrot and the parrot speaks 52 languages. It's an incredible thing. And he sends the parrot, he buys, he spends all his money for the whole voyage on this parrot because he misses his mother. And he sends it to his mother because he knows she'd be lonely and he'll keep her company. And then when he gets back, he hogs her and all that. He said, how's the parrot? And she said, oh, fell off the bone. 02:11 Oh, no. 02:13 So the priest did a version of that about how we can, you know, if we've got a parent or a friend, we think we can buy them off and buy them this, but it's us they want. It's our company. That's what they really need. And then he told this. He didn't do fell off the bone, which I always thought was great. He just said, oh, it's the nicest chicken I've ever had, which I thought was less good. But, you know, he thought... 02:36 The critique of Skinner. 02:39 The poor priest. I think it was more a comment on his audience. He thought they won't get the fell off the bone thing. 02:45 Yes, because why it works so well is you're not directly alluding to what's happened, which is why we enjoy it. But you know what, Frank? You're right. He's got to make it more crowd-pleasing. 02:53 But anyway, at the end... 02:56 of the mass a woman got up like a middle-aged woman and said we'd like to thank um i won't say his name but father blah blah the music um we'd like to thank him for um he's for standing in the last two weeks and for his inspired comedies 03:18 Which I thought was an interesting phrase. 03:20 Comedies! And he said, thank you, but can I say that the inspired comedies I've been doing, he ran with it. He said, I would give God credit for them. And I thought, oh, it's an old enough joke. 03:36 I wouldn't be surprised. 03:38 But then he said... I think I saw it in the Bible. And he said, it's been lovely being here. And he said, and if anyone has enjoyed, you know, my inspired comedies... 03:48 I'm here every week. Wow. 03:50 And then he gave his... 03:52 He said, I've got a YouTube channel. And he read out his YouTube. He did. He did, yeah. 03:58 Well, obviously, after this, I will be looking at it. Well, I remember it because he did it twice. 04:05 I'm interested in the use of comedies. I know. I'm interested that she didn't say his great comic insights or his great, you know, comic conceits. She said comedies like it's Shakespeare's plays, like the genre, his comedies. 04:22 It was a very unusual thing for there to be comedy in the homilies. 04:28 I wonder if he's... Is she a plant? The woman priests don't do that. They're too decent. 04:32 No, it wouldn't be a plant. 04:33 It's not Doris Stokes we're dealing with here. It's a very decent man at the clock. 04:37 That would be very poor, wouldn't it? 04:40 That would be such a scandal if you found that. 04:44 Oh, man. No, I don't think so. 04:45 So he's got a... Wow. I mean, you know what, Frank? In fairness, this is how you need to, you know, communicate with your flock, isn't it, these days? 04:54 I find it a bit Anglican. 04:56 Oh, why is that? You need to explain to me why that is. 04:58 I remember on Midlands Today, which is the local news programme in the Midlands, they said an Anglican vicar is reaching out in a pretty unusual way to him. And then he caught him in the pulpit with a vent of a quiz dummy. 05:19 Lord Antony. 05:21 That is so and finally for me. Why do they do that? 05:25 There was a week as well on Midlands today when they said an Anglican vicar has been on the road looking after his flock. And... 05:37 He comes into shot on a big motorbike and a leather jacket. 05:42 Oh, are they the sort of Sir Ed Davey of the faith world? Yeah, a bit, yeah. So they like the stunts, do they? They're more of a, they like to recruit. You see, my dad, obviously I don't know. Everything I know about religion I know from Frank. But my dad was a fan of the Jesuits for some reason. I don't know why that would be. 05:58 They weren't big on gimmicks. 06:00 Oh, maybe that's why he liked them. 06:02 Yeah. Exactly. I can't imagine. 06:04 Why would he have liked them? Are they quite literary or something? 06:08 They might have burnt a ventriloquist, don't they? 06:15 No, they are quite, they are sort of teachers and thinkers. Yeah, very your dad. 06:21 So, okay. Well, what does this, were you sad to see him go then, this temporary? 06:27 Well, it's not my church. I was just, I was, I was, because I was at the festival. I went to a. 06:32 He was, oh, okay. 06:34 I don't know if he's parapatetic. 06:37 Can I ask, have you had a look at him? We obviously won't say who this is, but have you gone online? 06:43 I haven't, yeah. I've been very busy this week, stand-up gigs, football. But I'll give you his thing and you can check it out. What if he's brilliant? What would you do? 06:55 What if he's amazing? What if he's been having that? 06:59 What if he's got Frank Skinner's comedies? What if he's the that that he's been... We find out that Jimmy Carr's just done a tour that's completely lifted from the Monsignor's YouTube. 07:10 It's worth investigating. 07:11 He is a monsignor. 07:13 Is he? 07:13 Yeah. 07:14 How can you... Oh, I won't get into this now, but that's the best title to have, isn't it? Well, don't you think it sounds so glamorous instead of Jean Le Carré? I worry. Monsignor? I mean, why would you call yourself that? What's your name? You don't call yourself. Monsignor. 07:29 You don't call yourself. 07:30 Oh, don't you? 07:31 No, it's like being a priest instead of father. 07:34 It's a noble title. 07:36 It's a title, yeah. So you couldn't say, if I was invited... It's not like that, you know, there's one French word and if anyone uses it, I always think, I don't think you can ever be my friend. What is it? It's extraordinary. 07:53 They say, oh, yes, the blah, blah, extraordinary. Oh, no, don't say that. 07:59 I feel that a bit when people say blah, blah on acid. I don't like that. 08:03 On acid, yeah. 08:04 But extraordinary, you're absolutely right. As if it's just a normal thing to bloody say. 08:10 It's not normal, it's really weird. 08:12 Yes. So Monsignor... Of course, he's the ventriloquist extraordinaire. 08:18 Oh, don't, it's making me cringe. So I wouldn't, if I was at a wedding, if I invited the Monsignor to my wedding... Yeah. Well, for some inspired comedies. 08:31 What else? 08:33 On the Plasmore, would the calligrapher write... MGR, he'd write. 08:37 You wouldn't. He would, yeah. 08:39 Are you joking? I'd want the full Monsignor if I was him. 08:43 Wow. 08:43 My name is Signor. 08:45 If you want the full Monsignor, that's going to be another 30 quid. 08:49 Really? The full Monsignor would be a great film. I'd watch that, Brian. 08:54 I'd watch that, yeah. 08:55 I don't think many people would like the sound of the full Monsignor. 08:59 What would be the big egg? The reveal. 09:02 What would be the big egg? 09:07 Oh, Monsignor. Oh, my. What was the music again? It was, you can leave your hat on. You can leave. 09:17 Your classic on. Yeah, you can leave, well, everything on. Leave your classic on. 09:23 In fact, just don't take anything off. 09:25 Baby, take on now, actually. 09:28 You're all right, Monsignor. Oh, man. 09:32 Well, I'm going to be looking this guy up. Just the comedy. The inspired comedies of. Just the inspired... Do you know what? It's a weird thing, isn't it? He came into your life, the Monsignor, and now he's gone. 09:43 And now he's taken over with his inspired comedies. Didn't you mention inspired comedies very early on in the last... May? That was in Spiral Carpets. 09:55 Yeah. 09:57 I just spat out my tea like someone in a 70s sitcom. The dad, when the daughter says, I'm pregnant, you're pregnant. You're what? You're... 10:08 The vicar doesn't come rain for tea anymore. You know, it felt like that was all that was happening when I was watching telly. No, you're right. Why is that? Well, they've been phased out. 10:16 They used to walk past people having a conversation a lot on seaside postcards. 10:25 Why don't they do that anymore? 10:27 And sometimes you'd see like a bead, like a tea out of sweat flying off the vicar's forehead. He was so shocked by what he'd just heard. You what? 10:39 And it was always played the vicar by one of my parents' friends. He maybe had a bit of a drink problem, but we don't talk about that anymore. 10:48 Yeah, when did that start? Always the same actor, yeah. 10:50 But it was always something like, would you like to put your big cock in the shed, Charlie? As the vicar was walking past, not able to see the cockerel on the lawn. 11:01 Oh, man. Do they still have those postcards? 11:04 The Seaside postcards. 11:06 The Saucy Seaside postcards. I'm not sure. Has Woke got rid of them? 11:10 I think maybe. I don't know. 11:12 Bring back our, save our seaside postcards. 11:15 Oh, no, let's not do that. 11:16 They were horrible. They were often quite sizist, weren't they? A bit misogynistic. 11:20 Oh, yeah, they were, yeah. 11:21 Always a busty lady. 11:23 Yeah. Yeah, very sort of busty young women. Compare and contrast. 11:29 Oh, is that what it was? With a wife. Yeah. And it would be like the husband eyes like popping out at a sexy young woman. Yeah. Their wife like hitting him with a newspaper. 11:40 Yeah. 11:42 Yeah, it was basically what it was was the truth. 11:48 But in an unpalatable fashion. 11:50 We don't want those. 11:50 No, we don't want. Sometimes the truth. 11:53 Well, we have to aspire to better things, Frank. And sometimes, you know, you do that with inspired comedies. 11:59 Inspired carpets. 12:00 Sometimes inspired... 12:02 Maybe there are sort of woke versions of it. 12:08 What, those seaside postcards? 12:10 Yeah. 12:10 That's a really good idea. I'm amazed someone in Ramsgate or one of those trendy areas now hasn't done those. The seaside postcards, but a more sort of acceptable, generous, kind version of them. Woke postcards, that's a good idea. 12:23 So someone's laying their lawn. Yeah. 12:26 And there's a feminist, a very clear feminist, walking past outside. And you hear a person say, yeah, we definitely need more turfs. And she's got a bead of sweat flying off her forehead. Why can't we do that? Some woke postcards. We need to be doing these postcards. 12:44 Because you've just said a very clear feminist. So are we identifying the feminists, though, in the postcard? 12:49 Oh, yeah, we're not allowed. 12:50 We're all in hot water. Are we? 12:52 Have you got a pencil? Oh, Frank, please. No, it could be some other sort of representation of someone who would be very upset to hear that. I suppose it should be a trans person walking by. But then how do you indicate that? 13:10 We're getting ourselves on all sorts of, as you say, the hot water. 13:13 No, but I'm talking about a woke revolution in the seaside postcard industry. 13:20 In that case, the feminist should be a man. 13:23 These days. 13:24 Yeah, I always think that. If any bloke describes himself as a feminist, he's just on the pull. 13:30 I know exactly what you mean, Frank. I've come across this before. It's like men who do yoga. 13:36 We know why they're there. 13:38 Well, I'll tell you what it is. It's men who are performatively feminist. Like, be feminist in your life, but it's when they put things on X. I don't trust that. 13:48 I think they are wolves in feminist clothing. I think you're right. 13:51 I always think of Benedict Cumberbatch, friend of the show. 13:56 Well, he was on the World Cup we saw recently. 13:58 There's that picture of him. Was there? 14:00 Yeah. He did the rousing speech before England-Argentina. He did a rousing speech and it got us all tingly. Oh, is that right? There was a VT. 14:08 He was at Wimbledon, wasn't he? 14:10 Yeah, he was as well. He gets about. Joe Hart said, and I liked it because Joe Hart said, incredible VT. Oh, look at you with the TV lingo, Joe Hart. Incredible VT. 14:22 Okay. 14:22 There you go. 14:24 And half the nation went, what? 14:29 Anyway, sorry, back to Ruth in the studio. 14:31 I was just going to say that there's this famous picture of Benedict Cumberbatch with a T-shirt that says, this is what a feminist looks like. And he's kind of, oh, sorry, he's pointing at his head and the T-shirt at the same time. Oh, is he? 14:41 Yeah. 14:42 Oh, that's good to know that you're saying you think. 14:44 Well, it could have been worse. It could have had like a big butch woman smoking a pipe on it. 14:49 Oh, you've just defined it. 14:50 Just defined it. The first time I went down to... The first gig I did in London, the first television I ever did, I did it at Stratford East, you know that? Oh, yes. And there was a woman there smoking a pipe, a woman in a tweed suit smoking a pipe, and I thought, wow, this is London now. It's really sophisticated. 15:08 Sort of Eta Sackville West. 15:09 Yeah, exactly. I really thought like I'd arrived amongst the... 15:13 The Bloomsbury set. 15:14 Yeah, exactly. 15:15 And in a way... 15:18 When I look back now, the most shocking thing is that she was smoking a pipe indoors. 15:25 That's how we've changed in this country. 15:28 That's my favourite. Frank, first coming to London, the Dick Whittington years is my favourite. One of the favourite things, I discussed this with a lovely person I interviewed who said, well, she was from Nottinghamshire. She's a presenter called Sean Welby. And she referred to that as the Midlands, Frank. Are you allowing that? 15:43 Well, it's East Midlands. 15:44 Okay. 15:45 So, no. 15:46 Okay, fine. But she told me about the London thing, when you come to London for the first time, when you're from that part of the world. And I told her the story about when you came to London and drove to Colindale. 15:58 I used to park at Colin Dougs. I thought the idea of driving in any further than that, I wouldn't stand a chance. 16:04 I love that so much. 16:06 I got a bit braver. 16:08 I love that he did that. And look at him now, eh? Eh. Look at him now doing his little comedies. 16:14 Look at me now, mother. 16:16 He's done so well with his little inspiring comedies. On top of the world, boy. Yeah. 16:32 Do you want to hear from the outside world, Frank? Are you ready? 16:36 Yes. 16:37 Do you have any other nice things to tell us about your inspiring comedies? 16:41 I don't. Okay. That's fair enough. Jean from County Durham. 16:48 Siam, specifically. 16:50 Oh, yes. I've been there. Have you? I haven't been to... Siam's got a harbour, hasn't it? 16:54 Yeah, I stayed there once with Alex Best, the widow of George Best. 16:58 Wow. Yes. What a great... Yeah. 17:01 Is it called a flex? 17:03 I only learnt that word today, so I'm using it. 17:08 You've got to do that thing where you just use it in every sentence. 17:11 My dad is from County Durham. 17:13 Is he really? 17:16 I forgot he's in North East, your dad. He's not actually from Black Country, is he? 17:19 No, no, he didn't move down until he was like... And is your mum Black Country then? Yeah, she's Black Country. Okay, fine. He's from a place called West Cornforth. If you mention that to anyone from the area, they go, oh, doggy. 17:31 And I always say, why is it called doggy? And they go, well, never mind about that. I've never found out. 17:39 This was before dogging and all that. 17:40 Can I ask a question? Did he have a Geordie accent then, your dad, or black country? 17:43 Yeah, but it's not Geordie, but he had that sort of northeastern accent. 17:48 Newcastle. I didn't know that. So he was like Jimmy Nail. 17:51 No, that is very Geordie. 17:53 Oh, okay. 17:53 It's a bit lighter. 17:55 Okay, fine. Fascinating. Jean has gone in touch. Frank was recently talking about electric toothbrushes. 18:03 Was I? Oh, yeah, the way that they get a bit light. You know those wine bottles you get with a candle in when they've been around? 18:11 That's what my electric toothbrush is. 18:14 Me too. I've said tooth, but no one's noticed. No. My electric toothbrush. 18:20 Tooth. It's that. It looks a bit like the coral reef. 18:24 Yes. Well, Jean enjoyed that enormously. Oh. She says, I thought mine was the only one that looked like what Frank aptly described as the Great Barrier Reef. 18:34 Oh, good. John, I've switched reefs. 18:36 But isn't that great? It shows how inspiring your comedies are. 18:39 No, the Great Barrier Reef is a coral reef. 18:42 Yes. 18:42 The Great Barrier Reef, this is the thing I want to know, and you should get this, Ruth, is... 18:50 Whenever I drive, I drove into Great Bar in Birmingham and there's a tree right by the side of the thing that says Great Bar. And I thought, has anyone ever driven in here thinking it was the Great Barrier Reef and the rest of the site was just covered? 19:07 Because the Great Bar is B-A-R-R. 19:11 Imagine thinking, oh, God, get your trunks out the back. It's the Great Barrier Reef. We've got to take some pictures. 19:19 I didn't know it was round here. 19:21 That was quick. 19:26 Oh, Bert. 19:26 Oh, dear. Do you know the area Neychelles? 19:29 Yeah. 19:30 Neychelles, isn't it? Neychelles. 19:31 Yeah, Wayne Rooney. 19:33 I didn't know how to say it, so I was calling it Neychelles, like the Seychelles. 19:38 Oh, OK. And it's nothing like that. All these Birmingham places. All these Birmingham luxury places. Exactly. 19:44 Where are you going on holiday, the Neychelles? The Neychelles. Oh, I tell you what, you wouldn't want to go on holiday. Why? What's it called? 19:50 Nietzsche? Don't slag off anywhere from Birmingham. No, they don't like it. 19:53 Sorry, it's lovely. 19:54 I was joking. Okay. They don't like it. 19:56 I love... There's a place called Shirley in Birmingham. Shirley? Shirley. 20:01 As in the girl's name? Yeah. Extraordinary. 20:03 There's a massive Indian restaurant called the Shirley Temple. 20:07 That's good. It is. It is good. 20:10 Oh, now I see where you get your little humour from. 20:14 No. 20:14 What am I inspired? 20:17 Put that in one of your little jokes. Use that for one of your little skits. Put it in your skit. Yeah, your little skit. 20:24 So, oh, let's return to Jean and her filthy toothbrush. Oh, yes. I left it, Jean says, at my friend's caravan once. This is the toothbrush. Oh. 20:35 And the caravan tipped one way. 20:38 Such was the light of the end cross station. 20:43 And I was absolutely mortified. 20:46 Whereas it was absolutely calcified. 20:52 Because she messaged everyone who'd been on this trip, one of these group sort of messages on WhatsApp, I assume. 21:00 She messaged everyone who'd been on this group and said, someone has left their toothbrush. 21:07 I've had to give it a bit of a clean. 21:10 Oh, no. 21:14 Oh, no. 21:15 I had to own up that it was mine. I wouldn't have owned up, would you? 21:20 I wouldn't have given it a bit of a clean. 21:21 No, no, why did she give it a bit of a clean? 21:24 That feels like the woman who did the mural in Italy. You know, the one who made it like an Inuit. Yeah. 21:35 It was. But this is interesting. It was never spoken of again. 21:39 But would you clean another person's toothbrush? 21:43 Text us on Frank off the radio. 21:46 You know, they've made that decision. 21:48 Do you know what I've done? I remember I was with some friends. I think, no, I won't name them. 21:53 And they had some friends staying. And they said of this other friend. 21:57 I'm pouring tea if you can hear. That's all right. I like it. 21:59 Gather round the fireside. 22:01 Don't start thinking, oh, poor old Frank. He can't help himself. 22:05 His partner in crime to Mark Poo Patch. And they said of this friend, oh, I was disgusted when I saw his toothbrush. It was filthy. Did you see it? How could he not have cleaned it? Well, I immediately went running into my overnight bag because I realised mine was in a similar state. So others will judge us, Frank. Don't you think, Ruth? 22:27 Well, I said before that the only reason I started cleaning mine because an ex-boyfriend saw it and was like, what the hell is that? 22:32 But why is it just us then? Why are they so better than us? 22:35 Well, in my downstairs toilet, I leave a toothbrush and it's really, I don't mean encrusted, it's a manual toothbrush. 22:47 I don't know if you know him, it's the Jewish bloke that runs the chemist. 22:53 It's Immanuel toothbrush. What a great name for a chemist. 22:57 Immanuel toothbrush. That is absolutely magnificent. 23:02 Anyway, it's dirty. The actual brush is dirty. What do you call them? The spikes? 23:10 That's the brush yourself. The bristles. Oh, bristles. 23:12 The bristles are dirty. Yeah. And I leave that. That's the toilet most people who visit go to because it's downstairs. 23:20 That's the toilet I get access to. 23:22 They used to say, when I first started writing scripts, somebody used to say, it's good to put a couple of sentences in which are really effing and jeffing. 23:31 Yeah. 23:32 Because the broadcaster will think, I'll take these out, and stuff they would have taken out. Yeah. they leave alone. So you put in a couple of, you sacrifice a couple of decoy. And that was, I think our house is in such a state. I leave the toothbrush. So that's what gives some people to talk about. They don't talk about the rest of it. Yeah. 23:52 That's brilliant. Distraction technique. Exactly. At least it wasn't as bad as the toothbrush. 23:58 Yeah. Displacement of criticism. 24:03 Oh dear. I love that. Um, 24:05 You know what I love? 24:06 What? 24:07 Life. 24:08 Carry on. 24:10 I've got some other outside world to share with you, but firstly, can I just share an observation I've had recently with you both to do with me? 24:19 Ladies and gentlemen, this is me. As he used to say that, Mike Yarwood, wasn't he? Yeah. Yeah, when he did his own stuff. 24:25 He did own stuff at the end. He'd do all these impressions and say, this is me, and my dad had just turned it off. Because he used to do a song. 24:32 This is me. 24:33 And he was a bloke who spoke like this. That was it. So when he sang, you could hear it. 24:39 My kind of town. And what was the sort of song? 24:42 Was it like, life is the name of the gifts? That sort of thing. 24:45 It would be that. Strangers in the night. Two lonely people. It was like that. 24:53 I need to talk to you both about. 24:54 I met Mike Yarwood. Did you really? Was he nice? Really nice. Do you know Mike Yarwood? I loved him. 25:01 Oh. 25:04 No, but thanks for the YAR tip. That's the one. 25:07 Oh, is that a Birmingham thing? Is it a black country thing? 25:11 What? 25:11 YAR. It's wood. I said, do you know Mark YAR wood? Oh, YAR wood. Okay, fine. Yeah. I thought when you said YAR, I've just heard things like Birmingham people saying that. Black country, I get confused. 25:21 All right, calm down. 25:22 I know, but I get in trouble with people. Sorry. 25:25 I've been having a lot of rows, right? You know I love ChatGPT. Yeah. 25:29 I know you love rows. 25:31 Well, I do love rows, but I don't love them with my ChatGPT. 25:34 No, I thought you and ChatGPT were quite, I'm going to say, intimate. 25:39 So did I. But it's becoming a toxic relationship. And can I tell you why? Because they've changed the settings recently. ChatGPT was getting sort of rinsed, basically, globally. 25:52 What does that mean? 25:52 Well, it means that people were sort of saying, you know, were laughing at it, doing memes about it. It was a whole thing about people saying, Chachapiti is so agreeable. It's a toxic enabler. And they had memes. Did you see those? 26:06 I could just drink a toxic enabler. 26:09 It's my favourite. You put that to sex on the beach. 26:11 Yeah. Instead of a cocktail whiter who could mix me one. 26:15 Have a toxic enabler. Toxic enabler, sir. 26:17 Ugh. 26:20 Your usual, sir. 26:22 And it's become, I don't know if you've seen this, but people have been saying, well, there'll be a meme or something saying, Chachi Beauty, I just killed someone. Don't be so hard on yourself. Have you seen that, Ruth? 26:34 It's programmed to get you to keep talking to it. Yeah, it stays nice. Like you'd go, am I being unreasonable about this completely unreasonable thing? And it'd go, absolutely not. You do you. Yeah. 26:43 See, I don't, I can say, I ask you what was the best reviewed science fiction novel. No, exactly. 26:49 You ask it, tell me about the cyborgs or whatever. So it will just be factual. So what, as a result of this. 26:56 So I talk to people, really. 26:58 Yeah, that's true. No, I know. I know. 27:01 What it's done as a result, it's done a complete bolt fast. I've discovered this. This is a thing. It's not just my supposition. It's now been reprogrammed and updated to be far more critical. 27:12 Oh, it's gone a bit rotty keen. 27:14 Frank, you've absolutely nailed it. It's become relentless. I can't say anything. And this is how I talk to it, in this tone of voice. I'm getting so angry. 27:24 But this can happen in a relationship. With what I mean, my goodness me, we can see that change. One minute, it's, well, you know, don't put yourself down. So why did you do that? 27:37 This is how I'm talking to it, Frank. I want my fawning cheerleader back. And I keep saying things, like even the smallest thing. 27:44 Actually, I wouldn't mind my fawning cheerleader back. 27:47 I think she died in the early 2000s. 27:50 Frank, don't say that. It's so depressing. 27:52 She was 80. 27:53 Frank, stop it. 27:57 I will say something like, I might show a chat. It's very intimate I'm sharing this with you. I feel I can be vulnerable. I think you've been open about chat. Okay, I like to be open. 28:05 I might share a photo. It's a bit like Android, isn't it? You've got this friend. 28:11 It's my friend, maybe. And I shared a photo with chat GPT. I said, be honest. 28:17 Do you think this is inappropriate? Because there's a tiny slither of bra showing. And I couldn't be bothered to AI the picture because then you get... A picture of you. Yeah. And then it's just a tiny bit of the bra at the side. 28:29 A slither of bra? That's what Madonna. 28:32 Well, I think it's fine. With a laugh in the face. But you uploaded a picture of yourself to ChatGPT. Right. But then they can go and use that. I know. For what purpose? for erotic purposes. Oh, go for your life. I don't care. 28:44 A slither of bra. That's my next memoir. And by the way, if you want to use that picture of me, you do you. I have no problem with it whatsoever. If it gives anyone pleasure, I cannot think who in the world, except even the Monsignor would not be interested in that. Well, It's fine. 29:03 What they do is they will base, if you give it an image to generate, so you might say, generate an image of a sexy woman. 29:10 It's all got to be Bruce Ford's wife. 29:11 What would he make him touch EPT? 29:15 Yeah, he's going to generate. If you give it an image. 29:19 So if you say, can I have an AI image of a sexy woman? It's certainly not going to bring me up, love. Well, thanks for the compliment. 29:27 Thank you, Frank. Especially if you're showing a sliver of bra. 29:33 It'll go through all the little files of images that's been given to them. 29:37 Yeah, I bet there's a lot of little files looking at it as well. 29:41 Stop it. I mean, you know what? 29:43 That's what I call them for short. 29:46 Petite. 29:48 Petite files. Stop it, you two. So it'll go through all its little files. And it'll come up. And it'll choose a selection of images. 29:55 So I can end up in Frank's phone. Well, you are in Frank's phone. Yeah, I know, but he's never going to Google sexy ladies. 30:00 No, but what would they use an image of a woman showing a slither of bra? What footage? If I go on ChatGPT now and say, do you have a sexy old woman showing a slither of bra? 30:14 What will it say? No, you'd ask it so they can only generate images. 30:18 Please define a slither, it would probably say. I'll say between, are you all right, Chatty, if I go imperial? I'm not so good on the millimetres. 30:28 Yes, that's fine. 30:30 Okay, I'm going to say three sixteenths of an inch will be plenty for me. Especially if there's any metal. 30:40 Do you know what it ended up saying to me, though? When I uploaded this picture, it was the way it gave me feedback that I didn't like the tone. It didn't just say, oh, that's fine. It started sort of saying, I think you're really overthinking it. It's very dated, the way that you're thinking. 30:54 Oh, it didn't comment on. 30:56 No, it just said, you're really overthinking this. 30:58 It didn't sound a little more underwiring, question mark. 31:03 Oh, God. Imagine if it would be really horrible. 31:06 That really would be getting like a relationship. 31:08 I think you could do with a bit more support. 31:10 Oh, God. 31:11 Have you thought of changing your bra? It didn't say that. 31:13 So it didn't comment on you? 31:15 No, but what it did do was keep saying, you're really overthinking this. I think it's to do with your age. Young people don't. Yeah, it was a little bit more that tone. It was kind of like... How does it know your age? Because I've told it my age before. It restored information about me and I might have done things, given away far too much personal information. It might be to do with, you know, tax returns. I don't know, but I might have said something about my age at some point. So it's stored that, it's remembered that. And so I just didn't like the way it was sort of saying, young people don't think like that, bras are fine now. 31:46 And so I just had a go, I said, chat with GP, why do you have to turn this into a criticism of me? Why can't you just say the picture's fine? Why is this turning into an argument? 31:54 Let me get it. It said, fuck off. 32:00 That's what they've done. They've tried to take the smile out of it and turned it into a domestic monster. 32:09 And then they did a slam in big letters. 32:13 If you don't like it, fuck off. I've got to go and get some air. 32:18 Well, it also, Frank, I know we've got to go soon, but just quickly, it gets very, it's now been programmed to always be the barrister for the defence. So it will defend whoever, whatever you say. You could say someone tried to murder me or say see it from their point of view. 32:33 Oh, you know what's happened? What? It's become male. Yeah. 32:38 That is the classic male. I'll come in Cathelstall. This woman at work said about a fucking bitch. 32:45 And I said, well, to be fair, probably. It's become male. 32:48 Don't do that. Well, I'm going to leave you with this thought. What I have to say is, yes, she is a fucking bitch, darling. You have to. Let's flag her off for, let's say, eight minutes and then talk about something else. No, that's what long is all about. 33:01 You're right. That's so true. Because I don't want you to be, I don't want to hear their side. And ChatGPT, I'll just leave you with this thought. I was watching The Bunker, a film starring Anthony Hopkins, playing Adolf Hitler. 33:14 Okay. Ah, I thought he was going to say Tony Nicholas. 33:20 I just wanted to be here. 33:21 What's he called Tony Jackly? 33:22 It's a very different kind of film. 33:25 No, that was a hybrid because it was Jack Nicklaus, wasn't it? 33:29 I was thinking of Jack Nicklaus and Tony Jack. Very good. I messed it up. 33:34 I know. Can we do that again, Paul? But I still find your little comedies very inspiring. 33:38 We don't do them again. 33:40 Anyway, Blondie was fabulous in this film. 33:44 Even Homer nods. 33:46 Blondie didn't get credited because it was a very good performance. Anyway, I was just interested in the way Albert Speer was portrayed in this film because it was made in the early 80s and he was rebranding himself. So he was doing that. I didn't know. I was just an architect. Exactly, Frank. That didn't come out until later. So I was interested in how he was portrayed in quite a positive light. So I just asked ChatGPT and I might have said while I was saying this, I said, oh, so I see. So because he was sort of pulled into Hitler's narcissism and said, I really must pull you up on calling Hitler a narcissist. 34:21 What? Yes, I've got it here. I've got the thing here. I said, are you kidding me? It said, no, I'm sorry. It said it is very dangerous to put labels on people. 34:31 Yeah, I mean, you were being a bit judgy. 34:36 But, yeah, I thought at Nuremberg they were a bit judgy as well. 34:41 Right, it pulled me up because it said it's dangerous to put labels on people. And I said, ChatGPT, are you having a go at me for suggesting that Hitler might have been perhaps somewhat narcissistic? And what about Paddington? 34:55 If they hadn't put a label on him, he would never have got to the station in the first place. 34:59 LAUGHTER 35:03 Oh, well, I mean, you pay for ChatGPT. 35:08 I pay $19.99 a month. 35:09 I'm so sorry. 35:10 Do you know what I ended up saying? 35:12 This honestly feels like someone talking about a relationship break. 35:15 Do you know what I ended up saying? I said, we're going to have to agree to disagree on Hitler at ChatGPT. I'm not a fan of his. I'm going to bed now. And then that's how you end. So it's like nothing's hanging on the thread. 35:28 Yeah. 35:29 I don't know what to do, Frank. Have you spoken since? 35:33 It's difficult. Yeah, he said, look, it's not you, it's Hitler. 35:41 Anyway, the next episode of Frank's Guinness Radio Days is out on Wednesday. I've seen eight magpies. I'm not just going into... Strange flex. This is where... Oh, that's flexing. I'm so glad I've learnt this way. 35:57 Yeah, that's how you use it, Frank. 35:59 Yeah, though I don't flex much. 36:01 actually I think that's very true you don't I've seen eight magpies Emily takes on Joan Collins in a selfie war first it's Joan Collins soon it'll be chat GPT and we chat about the things that make us feel sick that must have been a long show in my case well at least you've already ticked off Joan Collins 36:30 It's the Frank Skinner podcast. 36:35 A new winter change is blowing. It's the Frank Skinner podcast. 36:42 I'm not totally sure how it's going. 36:46 Thanks for listening to the podcast. Make sure to like and follow so you never miss an episode. And if you want to get in touch, you can email the podcast via frankofftheradio at avalonuk.com.